I appreciate the raw honesty in *The Hidden Grief of Involuntary Childlessness*. Grief like that is deep, real, and often dismissed by a society that treats parenthood as an expectation rather than a fragile hope. But when adoption is brought into the conversation—especially as a path forward for those struggling with infertility—it’s impossible to ignore what’s missing: the voices of adoptees.

Adoption isn’t a simple solution to childlessness. It’s not a replacement for a biological child, and it’s definitely not just a happy ending to someone’s pain. It’s a lifelong reality for the adoptee, one that comes with its own grief, loss, and identity struggles. Too often, the focus stays on the people who *want* a child, rather than the children who grow up carrying the weight of that transaction.

If we’re going to talk about adoption in the context of grief, we have to talk about *all* the grief involved—not just that of the people looking to adopt, but also the pain of separation, identity loss, and erasure that adoptees experience. The conversation isn’t complete without us.

Adoptees have been speaking about this for a long time. If you want to hear our side of the story, start here:
[**Severance and Reclamation: The Adoptee’s Journey in Reverse**]( https://medium.com/@thoughtless-del/list/13467819de26